"Chains do not hold a marriage together.
It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads,
which sew people together through the years." Simone Signoret 1921-1985
From the above quote, one thing is quite sure that this article is going to all about marriage. Yes, definitely!!!! But nothing like Love marriage Versus Arranged marriage or something of that sort. Now let me tell you something, I was about to finish another article to post this time. Immediately the "Berlin Wall" occured to me.
I met a woman rather I would say a respectable Mother who seemed happy with her daughter's marriage which they had been longing for quite sometimes. When I met her first time she told me her daughter's marriage had not been materialized even though they did receive may good alliances , rather, to be more specific, she was not willing to accept any of the proposals. They spent lot of money to do Poojas(Worship done to please God/Demi-Gods) and even reconstructed their house as per Vastu-Sastra(the technology which has a set of rules to construct buildings). Still, nothing went well as expected. As a joke, I asked her First question:"Is your daughter proud of herself?"Then I asked her Second question:"Do your daughter has any Apartment or Flat of her own?" I asked her third question:"Is that your daughter born and brought up at the same place?". For all those questions she said a big "YES".As a part of conversation, I told her, next time your daughter should be very constructive in her statement and should not have any pre-conceived notion of rejection. She should convey her ”supposed to be” how she wanted to lead her future life without any fear of rejection. I continued by requesting the mother to move her daughter to a different location and give the apartment for rent. I also added let her daughter decide after the marriage about the location she should settle down and about the apartment. Today when we met each other, she said her marriage happened. But she really perplexed the connection between marriage and apartment or location.I said let that be a secret. Anyway past is past!!! Even though, I said that, then, as a joke, when she told me the consequence of my statement, I really understood the gravity of the issue. This is not only happening with a man or woman. It is a reality which has been happening with men and women and after a long analysis I undergone. It may be the beginning of a new Era!!! It was not that she did not want to marry or the man who saw her droped out the proposal. Even after they had the permission of parents, she was not willing to marry anybody. Basically she created a "Berlin Wall" in this case. "Berlin Wall"!!!! G are you ok??? Yes. A psychological block. Sometimes it happen with men too "Creating Berlin Wall". Basically these type of incidents are quite common in India in recent times.
I heard it in one great person's speech that "Human Beings should be Loved and the Object should be Used".Paradoxically,now "Human Beings are being Used and Objects are being Loved and Cared". However, in recent times due to economic superiority, the definition of love has been changed. Due to the huge savings in terms of movable and immovable property, the definition of the best partner also has been changed. Above all, the priority has also been changed.
In the above incident, the reason for her marriage getting late was, she did not want to move from her flat or location, above all, for her, marriage was a second priority to what she possessed (her Proud,the Apartment/Location or whatever that matters). When the apartment had been given for the rent due to force of parents, her second priority became first. When it became her first priority, she started the mental preparation to get marry. Even though above is one such case study of "Creation of Berlin Wall". There are many psychological block which is creating "Berlin Wall". If you look into a lady/gentleman who is not marrying for long time this type of psychological block must have formed even in the minute forms. More than that, this lady though she is lovable, caring and affectionate she was proud and she could not bear the slightest rejection. It was her pre-emptive attack to protect her proud that she was postponting her marriage. She worth it more than anything. Some ladies take the next level of communication. Mostly, as soon as they smell something fishy, they do not go further. Sometime, we lack the knowledge and skills of how to communicate our feelings constructively. Some may feel, they do not want to hurt the opposite sex. She knew that she was not going to move out from her flat or place, instead of making a clear and constructive communication, she made a pre-conceived notion that she would get rejected.
Life is more beautiful than dreams if we know the art of living and the passion to make it more wonderful and delight everyday. Love is a gift which God has given to human being to make this life even more beautiful than dreams. So, the basic foundation to reach that mellow life is Love. This is the only one quality human beings are born with which is so natural in each molecule of our blood and cell. Rest all qualities have been accimilated through our life experience. One should be fortunate enough to be loved and to love others. However, in the long run of life, we loose the naturality of “The Art of Love” and we form our own blotted image which we acquired through education, knowledge and how much we earn. Any positive things has a dark side, we should diagnose at each stage of our life why we loose the natural tendency to love and care others. We should have practiced the patience, consideration, compassion, leniency and go, even, down to earth to keep that naturality of humanity and keep away envy, jealous, greed away.
"Marriage is the most wonderful of all things in life which is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase." Hugh Walpole
I like this famous quote, which highlights the purpose of marriage. Definitely, we are discovering another human being, when we marry. So, let us break that "Berlin Wall" and let there be no West and East Berlin in our relationship when it comes to marriage, since Walls are only Psychological Blocks.
